Critique Notes /March 2006

 

Our March critique session was well attended and rather like a Hungarian galosh—we had a little of everything.  There were familiar faces, new faces, and some, well, you know, I know the face but the name has been miscataloged.  At any rate, we had a nice variety of tunes submitted for critique and an effective level of criticism.  Here are my notes;

 

Van Buchanan / I’m Seeing Someone New…Well recorded, this contemporary country tune tells the songstory, ‘I thought I should let you know, I’m seeing someone new….and she’s inside of you.’  The critics:  has good lyrical plot twist, need more on how she is different, maybe more on who is the real you (remember, I just take notes), and lose some of the musical filler.

 

Bobby Mitchell / Lying, Cheating, and Stealing…Playing his traditional country tune live, Bobby tells the songstory, ‘She was an angel fallen to earth until I learned she was married.  Now she lying, cheating, and stealing my heart.’ The critics:  needs to be shortened, combine some verses, tells good story, repeat chorus more, and maybe speed up the tempo a bit.

 

Craze Dan / God’s Ant Farm…CD grabbed his mandolin and played his folksy ballad live, telling the songstory, ‘Search for meaning, watch the stars, then buy some insurance here on God’s ant farm.’ The critical opinion:  a good fun song, edit out superfluous words, drop fire insurance, improve chorus a bit, and more vocal emphasis on hook.

 

Patricia & Esther Bishop & Tony Rose / Cast Your Spell on Me…Recorded well, this contemporary pop tune tells the songstory, ‘I need escape so cast your spell on me and fly me to your heart.’  Critics:  has good pop feel, good chorus but lyrics vague in places, good musical loops (I think) but need to add to intro piece, and chorus lyrics could be improved a bit.

 

Andrew Richardson & S. Cooper / The Capital of Mistletoe…Recorded well, this balladesque tune tells the songstory, ‘The streets are chilled, red. white and green neon glow here in the Capital of Mistletoe.’  The sessionaires’ comments: really good tune,

Lose the everyone loves lyric, a very effective downer Christmas song, and could add a bit more sentimental quality.

 

Tony Rose / It Feels Like Yesterday…Playing his balladesque tune live, Tony tells the songstory, ‘I fell in love, had a kid and a house became a home.  But now my angel’s gone and it feels like yesterday.’  Critics:  a good sad song, add more drama in bridge, has a bit of lyrical vagueness, lose cable, and could be smoother going into chorus.

 

Matt Harlan / Heavy Steel and Spinning Wheels…Recorded well, this blue collar, rocky ballad tells the songstory, ‘We left town some time ago, but only I came back.  So here’s to you and heavy steel and spinning wheels.’ The critics’ opinion:  has neat feel, needs a more distinct rhyme scheme, has some really good imagery, and could improve lyrics in places.

 

Kat Rose / Texan Born – Highway 77…Playing her ballad live, Kat tells the songstory, ‘Palm trees, Kerrville, a slice of heaven.  I’m Texan born – Highway 77.’  The critical perspective:  a really good regional tune, could use more visual imagery in the lyrics, tune does have very effective contrast, and probably best to lose kilometers.

 

Danny Liggett / Both Sides of Me…Well recorded, this contemporary folk ballad tells the songstory, ‘If a book is judged by more than what’s on the leaf; then why can’t you see both sides of me?’  The listeners’ thoughts:  verse sense is a bit vague in  places, make all personal not general, could use more chorus/verse musical variation, and some good vocals in demo.

 

Ron Tintner / Let’s Start All Over Again…A solid pop/rock demo that tells the songstory, ‘Baby, we started out on the wrong foot and everything caved in; let’s picked up the pieces and start all over again.’  The critical perspective:  strong tune, good use of effects, could use some rephrasing in places (it’s in  my notes—but yeah, I don’t remember either), and good hooky melody.

 

Dave Bannen / An Empty Room…Playing his folksy ballad live, Dave tells the songstory, ‘All over this country I’ve played packed halls from midnight to noon; but when I come home I play to an empty room.’ Critics:  good imagery, needs more verse/chorus musical distinction, could use more emotion, try first person approach, and tempo too slow.

 

Kathryn Burleigh / And She Says She’s Disappearing…A lyrics only presentation, Kathryn tells the songstory, ‘Bit by bit days go by; she looks in the mirror and wants to cry and she says she’s disappearing.’  The critics’ assessment:  has some very poignant imagery, some good hooky lines, maybe start with second verse, and need slower tempo.

 

Tracy Park / Rumble of the Road…Recorded clearly, this bayou flavored tune tells the songstory, ‘I’ve always been a rambler; a gypsy life’s better than silver or gold.  I was born for the rumble of the road.’  The critical comments:  a good feel of rhythm, should repeat 3rd verse, musical hook & lyrical hook don’t quite match, bring guitar out more in the mix, and say title in chorus.

 

Shane Rogers and Bruce & Tom Scism / Big Ol’ Boat…Playing their ballad live, the guys tell the songstory, ‘I’ll be in movies;  I’ll ski the slopes, I’ll drive Ferraris; nah, I’ll take a ride on a big ol’ boat.’  The critics:  good imagery but maybe too many scenes, needs more story line, lose the bar scene, be more positive, and use bridge to fill in story completeness.

 

Dorian Harrison & Lloyd Cox / Cornbread Fed…Well recorded, this rock & roller tells the songstory, ‘I wanna talk about my woman.  She is six feet plus, sexy from her toes to her head; you better believe she’s cornbread fed.’  The critical summary:  song has good effective imagery, has some great lines, too much music before you get to the hook or title, and good tune

 

Well, Songsters, that’s a wrap.  Keep the shinny side up and I’ll check ya’ at the April meeting.  J.W.