Critique Notes /June 2007

We had a good crowd of folks this month with about 25 people in attendance. 14 songs were submitted for critiquing. It was a good batch of songs that varied in style. Almost half of the songs were played live. Always refreshing to hear. The group was really into giving quality feedback to the songwriters. It was a great meeting.

Bobby Mitchell/Johnny Gringo… Bobby played the song live for the group in his familiar style. The song tells the story of a guitar man in Texas. “There is a legend down in Texas you may not know about, A star but still an ordinary man.” It’s a good story and a good song. One suggestion from the group was to add more about why he is such a good guitar player. Another good one from Bobby.

Andrew Richardson/The Sweetest Poison… Lately Andrew has been playing his songs live for the group. Quite enjoyable. This song has a wonderful concept. “The sweetest poison and the worst of pain, knowing if I had another cup I would drink it down again.”

The song leaves you wanting more. The sparse lyrics make it work. It has a good chord progression. One suggestion was to add another verse.

Larry Sepulvado/Miss 911… Larry brought in a song with a very clever concept. It is a typical Larry song (that’s a good thing). “The urgency of my emergency Miss 911 take it personally, cause life’s only worth living if I’m dying to love you.” A great fun song. On suggestion was to add more references to medical conditions.

Celeste Terrell/ Hurricane… Celeste played live for the group. It is a good song with a good melody. “And I just want to let you know, that I’m like the wind that blows, and I can hurt more than a hurricane.” The pauses and softness at the end of the chorus are very effective. The group suggested adding some contrast to the images in the song.

Steve Revak/Three Kisses a Day… Steve played his song live for the group. The song has an interesting concept of the need for three kisses even after years of marriage. “We start each day, we start each and every day, with at least three kisses.” The song has a good structure and a relaxing melody. A suggestion from the group was to look at the rhyming scheme.

Patti Guyer/ Ten Years… Patti also played her song live for the group. It is a good song with a good story. “You gave me everything, gave me life, what you couldn’t give me was time.” The story in the song is well told. One suggestion from the group was to add another verse to tell about the gift that was left.

Lisa Loftin/ We Had a Moment… Lisa has starting playing the guitar and has been playing her songs live for the group. Getting better every month. Lisa brought in a good song that is bittersweet. “But we had a moment, we had a flash in time, for a brief second I was yours, you were mine.” The verses set up the chorus very well. One suggestion was to make this a female/male duet.

Pat Bishop/Don’t Mess It Up… Pat brought in a set of catchy lyrics. “Once you mess it up, can’t clean it up, can’t make it up, so don’t mess it up.” The song has some good imagery. Pat brings in lyrics is looking for collaboration. Usually she has a recording of them. The group liked what she done with the arrangement so far. One suggestion was to look at the rhyming.

Mike Darnell/ The Rainbow's End (Heart's Desire)… Mike brought in a good song and played live to the group. It has a nice feel to it. “Wavin’ in our rear view mirror, movin’ on down the line, little did I know it was really home, Texas is a state of mine.” It has a good story and builds nicely. Good guitar work in it.

Ron Tintner/ A Sense of Place… Ron brought in a good song with a little different twist to it. Neat concept. “I found a sense of place with you, I found a place to start anew.” The songs has a good build to it. Ron has done a good job of getting the emotion out of the subject. One suggestion was to repeat the first chorus instead of having a different second chorus.

Mitch Tiffin/All My Life… Mitch brought in a good song with some good guitar work and some very cool lines. “What happened to all the words, what happened to the rhymes, the great lines were just blown away when your eyes met mine.” The song has a patient flow to the melody. One suggestion was to change the title to “The words I can’t say.”

Van Buchanan/She is the One… Van brought in a song with a good chord structure. The lyrics are very different. “Hold on as long as you can, can’t you understand she is the one.” As usual Van’s performance on the song was very good. One suggestion from the group was to focus the lyrics a little more

Amber Slack/The Son… Amber brought in a song that would make a good gospel song. The song has some strong lyrics. “I need the son like the crops need the rain, I need the son to take away the pain.” It has an Appalachian gospel fell to it. One suggestion was to change the melody in the chorus to make it a little more different than the verses.

Chuck Elliott/Ain't it Funny How You Never Know… Chuck brought in a good song with a pretty melody. “In America, where the seeds of love will grow that you take the time to sow.” At the end of some of the lines there is a very interesting use of “uh-huh.” Seemed to work very well. Some very nice keyboard work in the song.