Critique Notes /August 2007

We had a good meeting with several of the usual crowd. 22 people in attendance. 14 songs were submitted for critiquing. 8 of songs were played live for the group. It’s always good to hear live music.

Each month songs are selected as “Songs of the Month.” Usually 2 are chosen when there are 15 or less songs. If more than 15 songs are submitted then 3 songs are chosen. This month 3 songs were selected because of a tie in the voting. At the end of the year all the “Songs of the Month” are then voted on to select the “Song of the Year”

Ron Tintner & Z. Mulls/Vinyl… Ron brought in a song that he is collaborating on. It is great idea. The song has very nice musical touches. The lyrics remind us of a different media than is popular today. “Hauling off to college with a coupla’ milk crates full of 33’s, Unpacking my LPs.” There are some good images in the lyrics. One suggestion from the group was to cut some syllables to make the song a little easier to sing.

Pat Bishop & Willie B/I Can Count on You… Pat, who is a lyricist, worked with Willie B to put together this song. Lisa Canada helped out with vocal work. This is an easy listening song with good lyrics. “I can count on you to put a smile on my face, To make my world a beautiful place.” The repetition of hook in the song helps to drive home the song title and make it memorable. One suggestion from the group was to add a little musical lift to the song.

Andrew Richardson/The Sweetest Poison… This is a song Andrew submitted in June for critiquing. He made changes based on the comments he received from the meeting and re-submitted the song this month. Evidently the group liked what he did and selected it as one of the “Songs of the Month.” “You’re the sweetest poison and I drank every drop.” The song is much smoother than the last version and has a good emotional feel to it.

Lawrence Eagleson/It Ain’t Easy… Lawrence brought in a “good old country song.” He played it live for the group. “I sing with my family and I thank the Lord, Drive this old smokin’ broken down Ford.” The song has a good structure and good visuals. There is a good match between the words and music. This was Lawrence’s first time at the meeting and playing in front of a group. He done good!

Patti Guyer/Look the Other Way… As usual Patti played her song live for the group. This is a sad song but it is good song with good images and good lyrics. “Only six years old, gonna find her dad. She just watched him walk away.” One suggestion from the group was to add a “tear’ in there somewhere.

Gary Taylor/Keep the World Out today… Gary played his song live for the group. “Light a few candles, but the shadows can stay. Just keep the world out today.” It’s a good song that could be a Christmas song. The lyrics and music fit together very well. One suggestion was to look at the melody in an isolated spot or two.

Danny Liggett/Grandpa… Danny brought in a song about his own grandpa. “People didn’t like him, they didn’t understand. He was what he was and he was his own man.” The group liked the song but suggested looking at the transition into the chorus.

Bob Pine/I Always Feel at Home… Bob brought in a song that was well produced. It is a good, simple, direct song with a smooth 40s jazzy style. “I always feel at home when you are close to me. I always feel at home, you’re where I wanna be.” One suggestion was to explore taking the last bridge up a step.

John Westbrook/Her Name… John played his song live for the group. It is a good song with good prosody and imagery. “She got on her horse, rode out into the plain. If you are quiet, the wind still whispers her name.” There is a nice contrast between the first and second instrumental breaks. One suggestion from the group was to shorten the breaks.

Mitch Tiffin/When I was a Younger Man… Mitch played the song live for the group. “…grab on to your dreams. But some will pass you fast and close and some will pass just like a ghost. You better catch’em quick before there gone.” A good song and well played. One suggestion was to look at the moral change in the bridge. Mitch’s song was selected as one of the “Songs of the Month.”

Lisa Loftin/????.... Lisa sang her song acappella and did a good job of it. She was also looking for suggestions for a title. This is a nice song with a good feel to it. “ I don’t want to let you go. I don’t want to set you free. I want to show you how good loving me could be.” One suggestion for a title was “I Don’t Want To Let You Go.”

Michael Callahan/Hony-Tonk Girls… Michael played his song live for the group. This is a good song with a very clever idea. “Will you be my next ‘ex baby, gonna take you to my trailer. Hell yeah, gonna wake p the neighbors.” One suggestion from the group was to change the title to “My Next ‘Ex Baby.” Michael song’s was also selected as a “Songs of the Month.”

Celeste Terrell/I Still Believe… Celeste played her song live for the group. She gave a good delivery on a good song. The song has some good lines and good imagery. “I think I’m the moon and stars but in the bars, I’m just the dark.” One suggestion from the group was to swap the first two verses.

Larry Sepulvado/I Can’t Fall that Far… Larry’s song has a very interesting concept. The song has some really good internal rhymes. “We could hang the moon and swing from a star. But when it all crashes down to solid ground, I can’t fall that far.” One suggestion was to describe the reason for the distance.

Wow! We had another good batch of new songs. It was great hearing them. The folks who played live all did a good job. It was a fun meeting. What you don’t get to hear about is the interaction of the attendees at the breaks and at the end. There are always pockets of conversations about songwriting, music and new instruments. Many collaborative song projects have started at the end of a meeting. This needs to be experienced. Bring a song or just bring yourself.

Keep writing!!

Danny