Critique Notes /September 2007
There
was a good crowd at the meeting. 24
people attend and 15 songs were submitted.
7 of the songs were played live.
We had a good batch of songs. We
had some folks show up that we haven’t seen in a while. The group was in a very jovial mood so it was
a light and fun session. Each
month songs are selected as “Songs of the Month.” Usually 2 are chosen when there are 14 or
less songs. If more than 14 songs are
submitted then 3 songs are chosen. This
month 3 songs were selected because of a tie in the voting. At the end of the year all the “Songs of the
Month” are then voted on to select the “Song of the Year” Pat Bishop/The Beast in Me… Pat brought in a very entertaining song. “When we made love on Bobby’s bear skin rug,
he brought out the beast in me.” It is a
good song with good visuals. The tempo
change in the chorus is a real positive.
One suggestion was to repeat “the beast in me” at the end of the chorus.
Bruce Scism/Second Chance… Bruce played his song live for the
group. This is a pretty song with an
emotional melody. “I would like to help
you find peace of mind, give it a second chance.” The arrangement is very good. This song has a universal appeal. The group offered some word changes but liked
the song the way it is. It was chosen as
one of the songs of the month. Patti Guyer/Can’t
Watch You Go…
Patti also player her song live for the group. Patti starts her song with the chorus which
worked very well. The lyrics are
emotional and solid. “We were like
spring flowers bathed in sunset showers.”
One suggestion from the group was to repeat the hook more. Andrew Richardson/Sail This Boat
With Me… Andrew played his
song live for the group. Andrew’s song
has a jazzy chord feel. The song has a good
arrangement and an interesting dramatic rise.
The song has a very interesting concept.
“And when it’s late I’ll take you back to when our love was new.” The song has good imagery and could easily be
a children’s song. One suggestion was to
rearrange the lines in the chorus. Chuck Elliot/Somewhere Along the
Line… Chuck’s song is a
very nice song with lovely melody. “Why
or when I really can’t recall, I don’t believe it’s anybodies fault at all.” The duet in the song works well. The song deals with the subject very
nicely. One suggestion was to slow the
tempo just a little. Willie B/Money Thinks I’m Dead… Willie played his song live for the
group. The song has a jazzy upbeat
feel. “Ain’t got a penny to my name,
could be in the black but all I see is red.”
The song has a great concept with good imagery and rhyming scheme. One suggestion was to look at the second line
of the chorus. It was chosen as one of
the songs of the month. Dan Ennis/Half the Dad… Dan played his song live for the group. This is a emotional song with a good melody
and imagery. “He gave me diamonds made
from dirt and dust, and he taught me to play the guitar.” One suggestion from the group was to add
“half the dad” at the end of the song. Danny Liggett/Blown by the
Wind… Danny
brought in a song with a solid story.
“The same old songs night after night, played them so much they no
longer sound right.” One suggestion was
to change the title to “It’s not meant to be”. Mitch Tiffin/Hey Baby… Mitch brought in a song that has a good
melody and a nice concept. It has a great feel.
It is intended to be a duet. “Hey
baby, last bottle is almost gone, It’s been a good friend, stood by me the
whole night long.” One suggestion was to
add a bridge. Ron Tintner & Steve
Bache/Cozumel…
Ron brought in a song that he collaborated with on. This is a nice song with a good
arrangement. The sparseness of the words
works very well. “The beach, the sand,
the joy of holding hands, we have nothing planned, alone on Bill Aspinwall/Open Arms… Bill played his song live for the group. This is a feel good song with a well
expressed sentiment. “Anyone can tell
that I would not be doing well without you holding me with open arms.” The group suggested some minor word changes. Larry Sepulvado/Meant 2 Be… Larry brought in a song that has some great
lines and good internal rhyming. “Love’s
got no better guarantee than a meant to be.”
The group liked the song and only suggested some minor word
changes. It was selected as one of the
songs of the month. Larry Eagleson/Time
Slips Away from Me… Larry played his song live for the
group. The song has a good Appalachian
feel to it. “But the most I could ask
for was just a minute of your time.” The
song has some nice lyrical emotional pictures.
One suggestion was to look at the melody of the chorus. Joyce Wolak/Could
She be You… Joyce sang her song to the group acappella. She did a
great job of it. The song could be part
of a musical. “You could be her, she
could be you.” This is an empowering
song with emotional message. One
suggestion from the group was to bring the melody up towards the end of the
song. Wow, what a great bunch of
songs. If you weren’t there you missed a
great session. The live music was
great. The recorded songs were just as
good. So next month, bring a smile,
bring a song, or just bring yourself. Keep writing!! Danny |