Critique Notes /October 2007

If you weren’t there you missed a good meeting. There was an excellent batch of songs this month. 21 people were in attendance. 13 songs were submitted for review. 8 of the songs were played live. The group provided some good feedback to the songwriters. Some of the best I have heard since I started coming to the meetings.

Each month songs are selected as “Songs of the Month.” Usually 2 are chosen when there are 14 or less songs. If more than 14 songs are submitted then 3 songs are chosen. This month 2 songs were selected. At the end of the year all the “Songs of the Month” are then voted on to select the “Song of the Year”

Mitch Tiffin/Forged in Pain… Mitch brought in a pretty song. It has a good melody with a solid chord structure. “…it’s a love that lasts forever, forged in pain at such an early age.” One suggestion from the group was to maybe shorten the song.

Bruce Scism & Shane Rogers/The Time That's Gone By… Bruce played the song live for the group. The music and the words work very well together. “Making a living is not making a life, Can’t get back time that’s gone by.” One suggestion from the group was to look at the rhyming scheme in the chorus.

Ron Tinter & Andrew Richardson/(Let’em) Talk, Talk, Talk… Ron and Andrew (a couple of our regulars) collaborated on this song. The song has a Rolling Stone(s) feel to it with a nice production. The repetition in the chorus works very well. “Your high class friends say I am dirt, But I don’t care ‘cause words can’t hurt.” One suggestion from the group was to use some of the words from the ending in the chorus.

Mike Darnell/The Promised Land… Mike played the song live for the group. The song has an understated humor to it that works very well. “I’m a pretty simple man you see. The promised land is right in front of me.” One suggestion was to make it shorter. This some was one of the songs voted song of the month.

Wayne Tilton/Not Here… Wayne played the song live for the group. This is a good song with good internal rhyming. “Not the same since al queda came sealing freedom to a TV pane.” One suggestion from the group was to look at the cadence in the chorus.

Gary Taylor/When Maybelle Picked the Wildwood Flower… Gary played his song live for the group. This is a good song with good prosody. “I’ll sell those prewar dreadnaughts to some the holy grail, but this simple arch-top Gibson well it’s just not for sale.” One suggestion was to look at words that may be obscure to the general population. This some was one of the songs voted song of the month.

Pat Bishop/ 30-60-90… This is good song with a great theme. “All returns in more than 90 days, don’t stand a chance, I’m standing on that.” One suggestion from the group was to remove the pause in chorus.

Larry Reese/Cowgirl from Heaven… Larry brought in lyrics he has written. The lyrics are ready for music. “When will I find another cowgirl from heaven, another rainbow from above. One that will sit beside me, one that will hold all my love.” Larry is looking for some one to collaborate with. One suggestion was to look at the wording of the last line of the chorus.

Lisa Loftin/ Early in the Morning… Lisa played her song live for the group. The song is classic country. There is a good build of tension in throughout the song. “Early in the morning when I ‘m not quite awake I feel you next to me…” One suggestion from the group was to add more power to the chorus.

Andrew Richardson/ Wake up - Rise and Shine… This is a fun song. It has great energy and good imagery. “Wake up! Rise and Shine, I‘ll be yours if you’ll be mine.” One suggestion from the group was to take the end of the chorus up

Joyce Wolak/ Be the One Who Says No… Joyce sang her song acapella (takes a brave person to do this). This is a nice song with a strong message. “Just say no when you know it’s not good for you.” One suggestion from the group was to look at the rhyming scheme in the chorus.

Patti Guyer/Houses of Glass… Patti played her song live for the group. This is a good song with a rock feel to it. It has good imagery in the chorus. “Houses of glass are made to break, just like the bones and innocence you take.” One suggestion from the group was to look at some of the words that may not fit in a rock song.

Larry Eagleston/Cruel Deception… Larry played his song live for the group. The song has a good structure. There is a good contrast between the verses and the chorus. “Cruel Deception, that’s a hell of a mind game you played.” One suggestion from the group was to tell more of the story.

Well that’s it for this month. Good songs, good playing and good fellowship. Mike Darnell did a great job of keeping the meeting going and keeping it fun.

Hopefully we will see you next month.

Keep Writing

Danny