Critique Notes/January 2008

Well it’s a new year.  January is usually a month where folks have had sometime to write songs or submit songs they have had ready since the November meeting.  Just like in 2007 the songs submitted this month’s songs are good.  12 songs were submitted this month.  Again half of the songs were played live for the group. 

 

Each month songs are selected as “Songs of the Month.”  Usually 2 are chosen when there are 14 or less songs.  If more than 14 songs are submitted then 3 songs are chosen.  This month 2 songs were selected.  These were added to the list in the running for song of the year. 

 

 

Bob Pryor/ You Call For Me…  Bob brought in a song that he played live that contains some very good music and a haunting chorus.  “You call for me but it’s too late, you call my name I can’t hear you anymore.”  The lyrics have a good deal of emotion in them.  One suggestion from the group was to drive the hook a little more.

 

Gary Taylor/I Got You… Gary played his song live for the group.  The song has a good hook and a nice feel to it.  “Everybody needs a kick off the couch; to tell you actually life’s pretty fair.”  The song has a very interesting chord structure.  It could be a religious song with a few changes.  One suggestion form the group was to look at the change of person in the bridge.

 

Kat Rose/Heroes One and All…  Kat played a very pretty song live for the group.  The song has a very powerful concept.  “It’s time to pay it forward help those who fall, find words to spark a smile be heroes one and all.”  The music fits the words very well.  One suggestion was to look at the length of the first chorus.

 

Lisa Loftin/Miles and Miles…  Lisa brought in a song with a good chord progression.  The song has a meditative feel to it.  “But I fell for you the first time you touched me, from miles away I felt you be my side.”  The song has a good concept with a strong melody in the chorus.  One suggestion was to look at the melody in parts of the verse.  Song of the Month Pick

 

Patti Guyer/Heart to Heart…  Patti played her song live for the group.  It is a simple but very sweet song.  “Heart to heart we can make it happen heart to heart.”  The chorus has a good feel to it and is easy to listen to.  The high note in the chorus is very effective.  One suggestion from the group was to look at the some of the rhyming. 

 

Andrew Reich/Crying over You…  Andrew brought in lyrics for the group to listen to.  He sang a melody acapella.  Andrew is looking for collaboration.  The lyrics are true to the country style.  “I drown all my pain with this toxic rain.”  The song has some good imagery and emotion.  One suggestion was to condense down to one chorus.

 

Willie B/Just Let Go…  Willie played his song live for the group.  The song has good imagery and a good concept.  “Just let go and see what happens, just let go before you lose him too.”  The song has some good internal rhymes.  One suggestion from the group was to kick up the energy in the chorus.

 

Ron Tintner & Pat Bishop/Rosalinda…  Pat and Ron have a nice song that has a catchy feel to it.  “Hey Rosalinda why are you dancing for those strangers, Hey Rosalinda you should be dancing in my arms.”  The song has a good flow and catchy chorus.  One suggestion from the group was to start the song with an instrument instead of the chorus.  Song of the Month Pick

 

Andrew Richardson/Some Boys…  Andrew’s song is tightly crafted with a nice feel and a very interesting concept.  “…And make this happy ending come true, cos’ some boys read those fairy tales too.”  It is a good basic song.  This is an excellent use of the fairly tale stories to tell the story.  One suggestion was to trim some words to make the song easier to sing.

 

Pat Bishop/Super Mart Store…  Pat brought in lyrics and is looking for collaboration.  Her song is sultry with some humor.  “The more I shopped the more I learned about her, I was a fast thinker.”  One suggestion was to make it more hooky with adding “Super Mart Store” more often.

 

Clyde Sayer/Becoming Me…  Clyde brought in a song with some good obscure images.  “Something that I read from the ancient scrolls tainted me and left it’s holy, holy holes.”  It is a dark song with good tension.  Ones suggestion from the group was to remove some of the space between words.

 

Ali Jafri/Don't Let me Down…  Ali brought in lyrics for the group and is looking for collaboration.  “You're my only hope right now, Darling don't let me down.”  The song has a good concept.  One suggestion was to add some more to the chorus.

 

 

The year has started with a good set of songs.  It already feels like there will be some more real gems in the coming months.  As songwriter myself I know the value of the critique sessions.  Each song I have brought in to the critique sessions has been improved by the feedback I have received.  If you have a song and want some suggestions to improve it, bring to the meeting. 

 

Hope to see you in February

 

 

Keep Writing

 

Danny