Critique Notes/February 2008compiled by Danny Ligget |
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15
people in attendance.
Each
month songs are selected as “Songs of the Month.” Usually 2 are chosen when there are 14 or
less songs. If more than 14 songs are
submitted then 3 songs are chosen. This
month 2 songs were selected. These were
added to the list in the running for song of the year.
Tony
Rose/ Looking
In… Tony brought in a song, played live, that
has some nice touches with the lyrics and with the melody creating very good
prosody in the song. “I know you cry
through the night, ‘cause I see your eyes in the
morning light.” The song has a nice feel to
it. One suggestion from the group was to
look at the flow into the chorus.
D Porras
& Andrew Richardson/Nobody Needs Love… Andrew brought in a song that just oozes
passion. “Cos nobody needs love, like I
need your love tonight.’ The song has
great music and there is a big pay off in the chorus. One suggestion was to lengthen the song.
Ron Tintner & Alan Gentle/No Day
of Rest… Ron’s song has a
nice story to it. It has good music and
melody. It has a
1800’s feel to it. The song has some
great imagery. “’Cause beasts and grain
and wind and rain, they take no day of rest.”
A gritty slice of life. One suggestion was to lengthen the ending
section.
Bob Yoh/Ambivalence in Endings #5… Bob brought in a song with a very different
style. The short catchy statements in the verses work well. “Reel out! Chill out. Let’s not start a fire!
Packin’
clothes. No doze. Souls on the pyre.” The change in of style in the chorus adds a
good contrast. One suggestion was to
slow down the verses just a little.
William Sweetin/Back
to Myself… William’s song is
very enjoyable and a little novel. It
has a good feel to it. It has a neat
construct with the lyrics. “I’m getting
back to myself, back to the one in me.” One
suggestion was to work on the timing of the melody.
Bob Pryor/Easier Said Than Done… Bob’s song has a rock attitude. The chord progress and melody are very
good. “Easier said than done, trying to
pick up the pieces, easier said than done, trying to
forget all the pain.” There is god build at the end of the song. One suggestion was to remove the suspended
chords.
Lisa Loftin, Pat Bishop & Danny
Liggett/He Painted Our Hearts…
Lisa, pat and Danny’s song has a strong melody in the chorus. “He painted our hearts with a permanent
love. In colors from
the rainbows above.” One
suggestion was to enhance the melody.
Danny Liggett/ Blue Collar Man… Danny brought in a good song with a good
message and a strong chorus. “I am what
I am, I’m a blue collar man, and I am proud of what I am.” One suggestion was to get into the chorus
quicker.
Pat Bishop/The
Downside of Life…
Pat brought in a good, fun song.
“He Said Doctor Doc what do you mean by that? He Said you’re just
getting’ old and you’re way too fat.”
One suggestion was to change it to the upside of life in the last
verse. Song of the Month Selection
Mike Darnell/ Baby, It’s a Long Way
Home… Mike played song
live for the group. Mike brought in a
good song with a nice melody and feel. The repetition works well. “It’s
a long way home at the end of the day, Baby it’s a long way home.” One suggestion was to the look at the words
in the second line of the chorus. Song of the Month Selection
Chuck Elliott/Sitting on a Gold
Mine… Chuck played his
song live for the group. His song is
very John Prine.
It has good prosody. “You can’t
think about your trouble to your own sacrifice be blind, when you’re sitting on
a gold mine”. One suggestion was to do a
little word trimming to make it easier to sing.
Mitch Tiffin/If We
stand or If We Fall…
Mitch also played his song live for the group. Mitch’s brought in a good song with a strong
message. “Duty called and we raised our
hands, and now we fight here in this foreign land. Will you remember if we stand or if we fall.” One suggestion was to look at the second
chorus.
Robert Chaney/The
Empress of Old
It was a tough choice to select the
songs of the month. It seems it’s
getting a little tougher each month. This
month we had 3 chosen because of a tie in the voting. The interaction was good and the suggestion
thoughtful. If you have a song in the
early stages bring it in and let the group critique it. It’s a good way to make it better
Hope to see you in March
Keep Writing
Danny